I’m beginning to think that living is to be in constant limbo.  Do we ever really know what we are doing or where we are going?  I guess it is enough that we know who are serving and thus, the rest is secondary.  When I was a boy, I hated change more than anything and by the age of 20 I had lived in nearly 17 different homes – almost a different home for every year.  On top of that, the 17 homes were divided between three different states: Montana, California and Arizona.  In the past 5 years I’ve been outside the US just as much as I’ve been in and the nomadic lifestyle cannot help but take hold.

Why has it taken me so long to write this update?  I have just been someone else could write it for me so that I would know what was next too.  This is the right time to write, though, because I have been given some divine direction that I did not possess before.  First of all, I will officially state that I am staying in China for (at least) the next year.  The decision is a great relief to me and – I believe – healthy too.  I know some people enjoy and are even meant for nomadic life, but I hope that is not me.  I think the greatest blessing will be the day that He tells me I’m in the right place…stay a while.  I’ll be quite content when that happens and maybe it could happen in China.  Of course, there is a catch.  I am staying in China but it looks like I’m not staying in Harbin.  I truly do have a special place in my heart for this ice city of the North, but I figure if I’m going to stay in China, I may as well take some time to get to know the place better and find out where I’ll be the most effective.  I have been accepted to a Chinese program in Yunnan Normal University in Yunnan province and I favor moving there to study Chinese as a full-time student.  So, yeah, the next move is half nomadic and half not.

These are my sincerest feelings at this current time: I would like to live in China and learn Chinese.  I would like to be in the Southern part of China and learn about another part of this vast country – And enjoy some more moderate weather.  I would like to continue doing what I have been doing here in Harbin in terms of sharing the good news with any friends I may be blessed with in Yunnan.  I need your help, prayers and support to go through with this next move and I want all my friends and family to know that I genuinely feel led by Him in these decisions because they’ve come with a whole lot of fighting from my end.  I’ve been resisting.  I’ve been playing my non-committal game trying to hold on to old habits and selfish ambitions while at the same time, pursuing the Spirit.  I’ve been holding onto my country and trying to live in and adapt to another.  In summary, I’ve been a walking contradiction and I am tired of putting up with my own pride.  I’m done being silly and feeling a confidence I have not had before; a confidence that is not mine.  I want to stay here and learn, and then I want to help with what I know.  This place is just as good as anyplace but I happen to have an affinity for it at this point.

And that’s the difficult thing about limbo – it forces us to grow and asks us to make a choice.  It turns out that decision-making is a beautiful skill to have and I want to be better at it; decisive and confident.  So consider this update a decision and know that I am more than at peace with the decision.  Above all, know that faith has led me to this point because I know that I have other options.  But, regardless…

I choose China.

~Johnny Young